dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
