I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
