Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
