Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My feet surprised me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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