next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
