I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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