you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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