We won't sleep together?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
