ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
