He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
