You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?