Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM