I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
