Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.

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(530): View more from California

i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(772): View more from Florida

Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.

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(214): View more from Texas

Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.

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(404): View more from Georgia

like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.

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(636): View more from Missouri

We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.

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