She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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