Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
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I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
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Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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