OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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