Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night