at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
