I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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