I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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