Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
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We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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