puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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