Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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