Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Naked Twister starts at high noon
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
