I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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