I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
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birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
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I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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