We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
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Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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