it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In other news, I just burned my penis
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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