that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
