Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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