News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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