Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
