i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
