My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
