did you get engaged???
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
