yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
