Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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