i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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