Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
