I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
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I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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