im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
