Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
