dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have feelings that need drinking.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize