oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
