Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
