Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize