will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
