I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
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My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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