Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
