dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
