is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
