mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
