My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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