Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
