Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
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Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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